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Der Gothmann: The Humanoid Boogie

It's full of Humanoid Rock'n'Roll.

“The whole of nature is a conjugation of the verb “to eat”, in the active, and the passive.”

Michael Pollan


To start off, I have a simple one for you.  It makes a remarkably suitable meal for all of the year, and is nice and easy on the brain and the palette.


It will look something like this, but not exactly, because this is Carbonara.

Serves 2-3

You will require:

1 large red pepper,

6 rashers of bacon, (any kind,)

1 small tub of cream-cheese, (approx 200g,)

300g of pasta, (any kind,)

100ml milk,

salt and pepper to taste.




  • Dice the bacon and the pepper, and set to one side in separate bowls.
  • Fill a pan with enough water to cook the pasta, and begin to bring to the boil.
  • While the water is heating, oil a frying pan and bring to a medium-high heat.
  • Add the bacon to the frying pan and stir – only – until no-longer raw.
  • Strain any fluid from the bacon, and wipe the frying pan.
  • Re-oil the pan and place the bacon in it once more, cooking on a high temperature, until crispy.
  • Once the bacon is cooked, put it in a bowl and set it to one side .
  • Add the pasta to the now-boiling water, (once the water returns to the boil, reduce heat slightly.)
  • While the pasta is cooking, add the pepper to the frying pan, and fry on a medium heat until softened.
  • Add the bacon back to the frying pan and mix it, together with the pepper.
  • Add the cream-cheese to the bacon and pepper a little at a time, until smooth and fully mixed.
  • To prevent the consistency becoming tacky, add the milk slowly, and mix well.
  • While mixing, season with salt and pepper to taste.
  • Remove the cooked pasta from the heat, and drain, replacing the pasta in the pan afterwards.
  • Add the bacon, pepper, and cream-cheese sauce to the pasta and mix thoroughly.
  • Serve.
  • Eat it, Bitches.

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